from the girl who loves katanas...posted Jun 9th 2010, 7:50PM
Mood: Suicidal
Music: Twisted Transister - koRn
...to the girl who left me cold and alone.
well...there goes my record of at least TRYING to stay out of the hospital...
...I'm not as sickly anymore...got a few blood transfusions and I'm getting stronger. That is until I opened up my wrists again. She's probably sick of me...not that I can blame her...just it fucking hurts. "i can't save you anymore." it's fucking screaming over and over in my fucked up head. I'm sorry I fucked up yet again. I'm sorry I don't want to live, but...you're being a hypocrite when you do the same and I'm supposed to just ignore it. I love you more than you can ever possibly know...why do you think I proposed to you...? I wish...I wish we could go back to those days...back when we were in love...at least back when you lead me to believe you loved me too...
You can't just waltz into my life turn my world upside down, sweep me off my feet, and then drop me the second you get bored with me or a hot slut walks past you while you're wasted out of your fucking mind. How many times did you sleep with people while we were dating? How about while we were engaged? Huh? I really wish I could hate you, but no. I just miss you even more and fall deeper in love with you each time I see your fucking pictures.
so, here I am, sitting by myself, feeling lonelier than ever, covered with your name that's carved all over my legs and belly, and you don't give a flying fuck. Fine. I have an entire pill bottle of Vikadin from mom. An entire bottle of Vodka from dad. And my favourite katana from me. Maybe I'll see you on the other side, my love.